Tuesday, May 1, 2012

How the Internet Can Become a Weapon

Bullying is not a new phenomenon. Most of us have dealt with a bully at least once in our lives. But times have changed. Technology and social media sites have given bullies a whole new set of weapons. Through text messaging, instant messaging and social media sites, bullies are can create a web of harassment that is very hard to escape.


Take for instance the article I read today about a Georgia middle school student who reported to police and school officials that she had been bullied on Facebook. Apparently, several students at her school used her picture and created a Facebook page in her name. Then, they posted rude and obscene comments on her classmates' pages and made false statements in the young teen's name. 


As a parent, reading an article like this one is unnerving. It's one thing to have kids bully my child, but it's completely different to have them harass her by making others believe she is doing and saying things she's not. But, this is a very real aspect of cyberbullying.


So what can we do as parents to protect our children? Here are seven ideas to protect your kids from cyberbullies and to prevent them from becoming cyberbullies themselves.



Know what your kids are doing online. As a parent, you need to know what sites your kids like to visit online as well as what they do when they are online. Ask where they are going, what they are doing and who they are doing it with. Don't rely solely on parental control software or monitoring programs. 


Let your kids know that as a parent, you may review their online communications, especially if you think there is a reason for concern. With my 11-year-old daughter, all of her e-mails are forwarded to my husband's e-mail account. He doesn't read every e-mail, but there have been times when she has talked to her about the e-mails.


Make sure you have passwords to your child's accounts. But don't abuse this privilege. Instead, encourage your kids to tell you immediately if they (or even someone they know) is being bullied online. Assure them that you won't take away their computer privileges or their cell phones if they confide in you about a problem. 


Establish rules about their technology use. Be clear about what sites they can visit and what they are permitted to do when they're online. Teach them how to stay safe online by talking with them about not sharing too much personal information like their full name, their birthday and their address.  And let them know what to do if they stumble onto a site that could be harmful to them.


Talk to your kids about what types of information and pictures they post online. Teach them to think about how others like teachers, coaches or future employers might view the material. Make sure your kids know not to share anything that could hurt or embarrass themselves or others.


Make sure kids know to keep their passwords safe and not to share them with friends. Sharing passwords can compromise their control over their online activities. We all learned a very big lesson with this when my daughter was in first grade. She shared her Webkinz password with friends at school. Then, one boy went home and sent "gifts" from her account to his.


Understand your school's rules. In the past few years, some schools have developed policies on technology uses both during school and after school hours. For instance, some schools have kicked student-athletes off sports teams for being seen in online pictures drinking. Meanwhile, several states have passed laws giving schools the ability to expel students who use technology to bully another child, even if the bullying takes place off school grounds. 


By staying up-to-date on what your kids are doing online and how their schools handle cyberbullying, you will be able to address incidents quickly before things spiral out of control.